Kryptonite Part 2: Protected or Reduced

25 Mar

Please first read Kryptonite Part 1: The End of the Table

Hi, I’m Michael and I’m a stroke survivor.

A week after the birthday party, a friend hosted a small catch-up and mentioned something that stopped me.

After I left the birthday party, one of the organisers had asked him why we didn’t move up and join everyone.

My friend replied:
“Don’t you get it? Michael doesn’t like crowds anymore.”

He’d also quietly reminded his wife that I might need extra time to finish my sentences. That she should concentrate a bit more so I’d be understood.

I hadn’t known.

And hearing it hit me harder than I expected.

On one hand, I felt deeply blessed.

To have friends who anticipate your needs.
Who advocate for you.
Who adjust rooms quietly so you don’t have to.

That’s rare.

But alongside that gratitude was something else.

For someone who has lived overseas, served in the army, built businesses, and led teams…

I felt reduced.

Disabled.

Less than.

Like something fragile that needed handling.

And that tension sat uncomfortably in my chest.

There’s a fine line between support and shrinking someone.

Between inclusion and overprotection.

I don’t want to be handled with kid gloves.
But I also can’t pretend the stroke didn’t change things.

So which is it?

Am I protected?

Or am I diminished?

Look for Kryptonite Part 3 in two weeks.

Amandda Kao