Entitled? A question that stopped me.

The Question

Hi, I’m Michael and I’m a stroke survivor.

I was at dinner with friends recently when the conversation turned to the modern trend of entitlement. One friend was talking about how many people seem to believe they deserve things without earning them.

Then he turned to me and asked:

“Do you feel entitled?”

A Loaded Word

I paused before answering.

Because entitled is one of those words that now carries two very different meanings.

There’s the original, neutral meaning - having a right to something for a valid reason.

And then there’s the newer, more common meaning - the negative one. The idea that someone believes they deserve something without justification. The so-called entitlement mentality.

So the real question wasn’t just “Do you feel entitled?”

It was:
Do you think the world owes you something because you’re disabled?

What I’m Not Entitled To

Let me be clear.

I don’t believe the world owes me a living because I had a stroke.
I don’t believe I deserve special treatment just because life took an unexpected turn.

I’ve done the hard yards - before and after my stroke. Built skills. Built a life. That hasn’t changed.

What I Am Entitled To

But here’s the other side of it.

Do I believe I’m entitled to support when I physically can’t do something?

Yes.

If I can’t fasten a cufflink because my hand doesn’t work properly - I’ll accept help.
If I struggle to complete a form because of writing challenges - I’ll ask for assistance.
If my apraxia kicks in and I say the wrong word - or drop an f-bomb in the wrong setting - I hope for a bit of understanding.

That’s not entitlement in the negative sense.

That’s reality.

The Internal Conflict

And yet, even saying that feels uncomfortable.

Because I still feel embarrassed when I need help.

There’s a part of me that still measures myself against who I used to be - independent, capable, in control. So when I have to rely on someone else for something small, it doesn’t feel small.

It feels like a spotlight.

But my rehab therapists have reminded me, more than once, that this wasn’t a minor inconvenience.

It was a life-changing event.

And pretending otherwise doesn’t make me stronger.

The Kindness of Strangers

The reality is, most people are good.

They don’t judge. They help. Quietly, without fuss.

Like the young woman at a tram stop who did up my cufflink when I couldn’t. No hesitation. No awkwardness. Just kindness.

Entitled - Or Just Human?

So no, I don’t think I’m entitled.

But I do think I’m allowed to live in a world where people make space for each other.

Where needing help occasionally doesn’t diminish who you are.
Where support isn’t confused with weakness.

Because at some point in life - stroke or not - everyone needs a hand.

And maybe that’s not entitlement.

Maybe that’s just being human.